I have seen my mother, sisters and beloved over years. They spend a lot of energy keeping friendships going that men generally do not. There appears to be a sense that you must be a good woman, a Lady, and your reputation matters. Because it does. The Samaratan was drawing water not at the times when that physically demanding job was more pleasant — in the cool of the morning or evening — because the women of the town considered her a tramp.
No man would now marry her. No woman would associate with her. She is a warning. We now teach that such are empowered, independent and glorious, but that is a lie. They are lonely, sad, unskilled, and care for their fur babies.
- “Men don’t want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent’s house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after.”
- “If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.”
- “The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.”
- “They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.”
- “They lost a handful of years of experience learning to cook large meals and learning how to work in the garden. College kids don’t cook. If they do, it’s typically for themselves.”
- “The list goes on. Churches don’t talk about it. They support the college kids (really adults) and the ‘working’ mothers.”
I consider my beloved above rubies. I estimate that she contributes tens of thousands to our budget in the way of defense. She grows stuff out of hard clay. She makes ugly corners of the garden beautiful, She makes better meals than we can buy. She is skilled at these things: and she’s got two skilled trades, one with a degree. But in NZ, the student loans are without interest, and there are ways of getting such training with minimal cost.
The college experience is a con, and worse than a con. It makes one worship at the mountain of the academy, thinking it is Jerusalem or Moriah where we worship our creator, when it is with spirit and with truth.
1Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard, “Jesus is making and baptizing more disciples than John” 2 – although it was not Jesus himself but his disciples who baptized – 3he left Judea and started back to Galilee. 4But he had to go through Samaria. 5So he came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon.
7A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” 8(His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) 9The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.) 10Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” 11The woman said to him, “Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us the well, and with his sons and his flocks drank from it?” 13Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” 15The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.”
16Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” 17The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; 18for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!” 19The woman said to him, “Sir, I see that you are a prophet. 20Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.” 21Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. 24God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us.” 26Jesus said to her, “I am he, the one who is speaking to you.”
Within much of the evangelical church, talking about such is considered sexism, and evil. We will be insulted, and the truth has no defense. Women have not changed since the time of Jesus and Paul, nor have men. Women generally take less risks: socially, occupationally. There are very few female rock climbers: there are more crossfit chicks. When I was young, even as a bookish geek, I would do things that now would be banned by health and safety because they were fun. Every summer we see young men jumping from bridges into the clutha river — showing off to young women.
Young woman of God, hate debt. Avoid carbohydrates. Exercise. Be in your church. Listen to the godly older women, who should be teaching you.
And marry the young man who seeks God, and will wait until you have wed. Then make a life together. My beloved and I found each other late: our generation are a warning to you of what not to do, for I know too many women of my age burned out, cynical and caring for their cats, and men watching their sport, drinking their beer, and forgetting to walk their dog. The narrative wants us isolated, afraid, and enslaved to our vices. We were never called to that fate. .
Like the woman of Samaria was called to find her husband, and bear witness to the Christ, and not live as she was.