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Men and the effete pastorate.

One of my friends put this on facebook, relating to Dalrock’s post about a complementarian preacher who is bowing before the #metoo movement and the demands of the women driving this.

From the comments, which summarizes the problem.

What do you expect an effeminate man to say? he can only speak what he knows from experience and it does not look like he has any experience with real masculinity. Everything about Matt screams out sissy boy.

Why is it that preachers in American churches are so devoid of testosterone? They have no muscular definition, no stage presence, and they all dress in that same stupid style of jeans with an untucked button down. The Jesus they purport to know, worked with his hands as a carpenter and was strong enough and violent enough to clear out the temple of all the money changers. He was the epitome of masculinity and yet we are somehow supposed to believe that Jesus would have us be the exact opposite of how He was and become simpering, emotional manginas?

Gage, Dalrock

My father was never such. An elder in his church, a counsellor, gentle to many… and getting me to push heavy sacks around, work physically, and working during my breaks. Despite, or indeed because I am bookish.

I saw men who were missionaries lead churches. I am old enough to remember when elders were men, and they led.

And I was in male only groups long enough to know the need for contact sports, though the modern educationalists and church leaders do not understand that you need such. My kids hated youth group.

And this is why we need lists like the one my friend wrote.


The modern Christian establishment, including about 99.9999 percent of the clergy in all denominations and faith traditions is completely inept at articulating or describing what being a man really means.

Gentlemen, we are in totally uncharted territory now. There is no objective masculine ethos unless we reinvent it ourselves, with ZERO input from “leaders” or women. It must be gleaned from the ancient literature–the wisdom of the ages and the individuals who came before us. No one alive today can tell you what a “real man” is anymore, because they don’t know either.

What I have been able to figure out for myself while I muddle through is that I feel more useful, more confident and more sure of who I am when I:

1. Don’t pay attention to what so called leaders say is a real man
2. Take calculated risks for my family
3. Confront people when they are full of shit
4. Tell the truth
5. Work out
6. Do what I say I am going to do
7. Protect and defend the weak and others who cannot do so for themselves
8. Do not let my family off the hook from the consequences of their behavior
9. Smile at strangers once in a while and pay them a compliment if they look like they need it
10. If you are in charge of something, make decisions. If you are farther down the line as a subordinate, follow instructions
11. Don’t interfere with the way another man leads his family
12. Never quit

I would add that half the time you have to make a decision, it is so that things are done, and people think they have coverage. That they have their back covered. The decision matters less than the confidence others have that you will back them if they follow on the agreed actions.

Adults know they are accountable. It is the infantile, the effete, and the irresponsible who want someone else to own the blame. Such people are vulnerable to whatever the fashionable accusation of the day is.

We should instead expect storms and trials. We are adults, not children. We know hard times come. It is those standing at the end that matter. And the unmanly, the weak, and the corrupt will fail.

Do not be them. Do not be like them.

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